I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
3pm strippers are depressing
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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