The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
