oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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