we made out on top of his cat.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
