My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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