he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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