Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
