My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
