kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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