Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
