yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
