would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
