This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize