Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she looked like the before picture.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
