I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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