Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Enjoy the penises
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
