It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
