so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
