Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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