I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
my liver is dry heaving
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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