Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
