??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Farmville is her only friend.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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