Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize