she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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