He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
