people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
