What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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