oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
