We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
