i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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