I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
