I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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