how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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