I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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