if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
