Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
now i know why i became what i already was.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
