Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Will you blow on my dice?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
