I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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