Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
