Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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