Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
