I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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