And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
