We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize