its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
