Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
