True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
