i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
