i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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