Sry I called you an 8
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
