my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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