tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
