I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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