I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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