Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
