My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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