i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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