yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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