I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
