Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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