It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
