oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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