Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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