yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
